I sense the change in the air almost too late. I inhale the scent of frost, decaying leaves, a distant fire and realize the sun has almost set. I quietly slip out my back door, away from my new wife and our little baby. Once I’m out of view of the neat row of houses I race towards the woods. I run until my breath is ragged and the last rays of sunlight fade among the trees. I crouch, hunched over, waiting, waiting, until the pain comes. It shoots down my spine, every vertebrae flexing, and spreads out to every extremity. I feel my back press against a tree limb that moments ago was several feet above me. My hands clench, toes curl, and I scream and scream until the screams finally become howls. cloaked in the blue cold the full moon illuminates an unraveling