The sun is setting and night is near
A devil is coming under cloak of night
Cling to anything you hold dear
Through your shutters vampires will leer
looking for pale necks to bite
The sun is setting and night is near
Listen closely, can you hear
incantations the witches recite?
Cling to anything you hold dear
On the mountaintop a strange shape will appear
His horns and claws a fearsome sight
The sun is setting and night is near
When you smell the stench of forty thousand years
A rank perfume curdled with the scent of fright
Cling to anything you hold dear
Listen closely, can you hear?
Chernobog arrives under cloak of night
The sun has set and night is here
Cling to anything you hold dear
*******
Day 15 of NaPoWriMo challenged us to write a poem based on our favorite type of music. I instantly thought of A Night on Bald Mountain. Fantasia was my favorite movies of growing up, especially the dramatic ending pairing A Night on Bald Mountain with Ava Maria. It’s the reason I walked down the isle to Ava Maria instead of the standard Bridal Chorus.
About halfway through this poem I noticed a bit of a similarity with Vincent Price’s monologue at the end of Michael Jackson’s Thriller, so I had to sneak in a little bit of a tribute to that as well.
I’m posting this to Dverse’s open link night, be sure to stop by and see how NaPoWriMo is inspiring other poets ;).
The repetition is so effective here….from “the sun is setting and the night is near”….which is innocuous and could be seen as quite pleasant….until you read on. And then the warning: Cling to anything you hold dear! Oh my!
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Thank you! I’ve been working on making repetition more meaningful in my poetry, so I really appreciate your comments.
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You had me at “when you smell the stench of forty thousand years”. I don’t recall the name of this form, but the refrains work well. A nice blend of FANTASIA, Ann Rice, and Vincent Price.
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Thank you! It’s a villanelle, although I did stray from the set form a little at the end.
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Creepy! I don’t want to be anywhere near that mountain at nightfall!
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Ha, thank you!
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I like the use of repetition in this poem. Well done.
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Thank you!
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I like the repeating line to focus attention on anxiety: “Cling to anything you hold dear”
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Thank you!
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terrific nocturne. The refrain is great as the tension increases – as night draws near – and then Vincent Price cackling away – too much. Ha.
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A good use of repetition and vivid images.
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Thank you!
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The use of repetition is incredibly powerful here and builds up to drive the message through. 💝💝
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Thank you!
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Reading this I also thought about Fantasia, and those scary images…. Musorgsky is my kind of music
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Thank you! I do prefer darker classical music as well.
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You definitely know how to put scary images in a person’s mind. Well done.
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Thank you!
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