Strange Writing
Comments 56

Haibun 2

My back hurts. I blame it on a lot of things, my mattress, my couch, my desk chair at work. Not enough yoga. Too long of a commute.

None of which are the problem. The real issue is, I slouch. Sinking behind the arms of my couch, behind my computer screen. Perpetually trying to hide.

Even when I’m not slouching, I’m trying to hide. I apply for a promotion at work, and immediately begin to hope that I’m passed over. I spend hours preparing stories and poems for submission, and never send them in.

I am the epitome of Imposters Syndrome. Perpetually holding back, waiting to be found out to be a fraud. A fake. A terrible writer who’s also horrible at her job.

But it has to stop. It’s holding me back, and riddling me with doubt. And it’s physically starting to hurt.

enough is enough

no more slouching, no hiding

time to sit up straight

56 Comments

  1. You go girl! I love your poetry, stories and insight. We all feel like frauds and imposters. I slouch too!! I support you in letting you light shine!! We are made to have free self expression. My Dad would tell me “move girl, with God’s speed!”❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Impostor Syndrome is a thief. It steals our pride and happiness. It takes our accomplishments and minimizes them. From my limited view of you through your blog writing, you seem to have things 100% together. Your post is a good reminder that we can never judge another person, because we have no idea what’s going on inside their head. My wife has a phrase she uses all the time: “Look at the evidence.” When we take time to objectively review what we’ve achieved, we see that we’re not impostors. I suspect that you, L. Stevens, are the real deal.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. doyouljsr says

    Your words are everything, I am in awe as you string them together so beautifully or suspense. You are one half of two yet an original who has the courage to push boundaries and also be a true individual you have not been sitting you have been standing up straight your whole life, you just didn’t know it.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Very honest and engaging haibun L, from the heart – and lower back. I know you have probably heard this, but here it comes again. Other than in the case of a sociopath – we all know we are not quite good enough, we are all fearing we will be “found out”. Give thst fact a thought from time to time, maybe it will take a bit of the stress outta’ya back? Couldn’t hurt… 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. So easy, to get lost with our inner critic that we don’t see the true strength, we have with in. You will surprise yourself, when you realize your true value, as a person and a poem. I say this, as a person, who struggles with low self-esteem and confidence. Thank you, for the courage and strength to share this part of your journey, L.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. sanaarizvi says

    Ohh dude are you kidding me I LOVED your haibun ❤️ It’s so honest, raw and straightforward! 😀 I really think you should send it out and not hold back! xo

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Funny i had all ‘these’ issues and So Much
    More one step in Reverse eventually
    Spiraling Flow of Free Verse
    Dance Ending
    All the
    Darkness
    As Any Milky
    Way Lights Up…
    Calm Eye Hurricane..:)

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Enjoyed reading this. Am an imposter, major sloucher, and constant mind changer myself. Keep up the positive outlook.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: Strange Events: Year in Review – Everyday Strange

  10. oh, the truth in this hurts! so much hiding, holding back. oh i want to shine! send them in! no ‘hopefully’ about it. just do it. Thanks for this poem, and for sharing it.

    Liked by 1 person

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